A BEAD OF PURE LIFE
Around a month ago, I obtained a job at a certain children’s center which helps advance their education. I, myself, had never been to one of these centers, but I’d heard extensively about them. The way it works is that students come in whenever convenient (while the center’s open) to turn in their homework, get new work, and do today’s packet. The younger kids sit at the back of the room, and my job is to help them out with whatever math or English concepts that they’re currently learning.
Now, I have very conflicted feelings about the job. Previously, I didn't hold children in the highest regard. I thought they were annoying, unsanitary, troublesome, and not cute enough to make up for their flaws. But after working at this center, I’ve come to like and even love the kids there; the ones I work with range from 3-7 years old, so first graders and under. Don’t get me wrong, they are irritating and stubborn at times, but they are all remind me of Virginia Woolf's moth: “a bead of pure life.” They are optimistic, unapologetic with their questions, ceaselessly curious, and never-ending fountains of energy. I swear they never stop moving.
Besides working with kids, my conflicted feelings also stem from what I fear the center is/I am doing to their learning experience. Most of the kids are reluctant to do their work and are unenthusiastic. Learning is supposed to be a fun, lifelong journey, but by forcing them to sludge through these packets, am I contributing to an early hatred towards learning?
Some of the kids are learning very complex material, and they struggle through each page. Others have trouble focusing but have no way to take a mental break because they are forced to sit there. If they speak too loud, they are told to be quiet, and if they talk too much, they are told to focus. Like the moth in Woolf’s piece, these children are trapped in a windowpane instead of pursuing the countless more fun opportunities in the outside world.
I do believe that the learning center helps improve the kids’ language and math skills, and I can understand the parent perspective in sending their child there. It gives them a head start in this very competitive educational world and allows them to advance their knowledge at their own pace. I haven’t seen the long-term effects of this supplementary tutoring, so maybe I’m just overreacting, but I couldn’t help seeing the immediate similarities between Virginia Woolf’s moth and these kids.
Now, I have very conflicted feelings about the job. Previously, I didn't hold children in the highest regard. I thought they were annoying, unsanitary, troublesome, and not cute enough to make up for their flaws. But after working at this center, I’ve come to like and even love the kids there; the ones I work with range from 3-7 years old, so first graders and under. Don’t get me wrong, they are irritating and stubborn at times, but they are all remind me of Virginia Woolf's moth: “a bead of pure life.” They are optimistic, unapologetic with their questions, ceaselessly curious, and never-ending fountains of energy. I swear they never stop moving.
Besides working with kids, my conflicted feelings also stem from what I fear the center is/I am doing to their learning experience. Most of the kids are reluctant to do their work and are unenthusiastic. Learning is supposed to be a fun, lifelong journey, but by forcing them to sludge through these packets, am I contributing to an early hatred towards learning?
Some of the kids are learning very complex material, and they struggle through each page. Others have trouble focusing but have no way to take a mental break because they are forced to sit there. If they speak too loud, they are told to be quiet, and if they talk too much, they are told to focus. Like the moth in Woolf’s piece, these children are trapped in a windowpane instead of pursuing the countless more fun opportunities in the outside world.
I do believe that the learning center helps improve the kids’ language and math skills, and I can understand the parent perspective in sending their child there. It gives them a head start in this very competitive educational world and allows them to advance their knowledge at their own pace. I haven’t seen the long-term effects of this supplementary tutoring, so maybe I’m just overreacting, but I couldn’t help seeing the immediate similarities between Virginia Woolf’s moth and these kids.
Hi Carol!
ReplyDeleteThe connection you were able to make between Virginia Woolf's piece and something you've experienced before is interesting. I like how Woolf's writing helped you see your own experience through a different perspective and allowed you to reflect on it personally.
I liked how u related two seemly very different things, the moths and kids learning, with insights on both. The self reflection on your own part and on society was very intriguing.
ReplyDeleteHi Carol! This was beautifully written and I completely agree with what you've said. I happened to work at the same place so I totally know what you are talking about- I remember grading kids' papers and seeing "I hate *place of work*" written over and over and over. Eventually, this environment led to me quitting my job there and go somewhere else (lol). I feel as though forcing kids to do work they despise in a fashion that doesn't match their learning style, you are killing their passion to learn which is difficult to regain.
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